We’ve known we needed a vacation for a while. There just never seemed to be a right time, either because there was some big event at work one of us felt we couldn’t miss or we were just too darned exhausted to go anywhere. That kind of thinking has kept us homebound since November 2008. Until Kyle’s sister made us an offer we couldn’t refuse: come to Newport, RI with the rest of the family to see her get married. That’s just one of the great things about family: when it seems like nothing else will do it, they help you get your priorities in order.
So we bought three tickets and started daydreaming about taking Ingrid swimming for the first time, strolling along the Cliff Walk, and eating lots of clam chowder (and of course the wedding). Then–disaster. Kyle’s work scheduled an awards luncheon the day we were supposed to leave, and as the squadron commander, he felt he needed to be there. So we changed his ticket to fly out separately late that night, and due to the heavy ticket change fees, agreed I would travel alone with Ingrid as scheduled.
It wasn’t the idea of traveling alone with a toddler that struck fear in me. It was traveling alone with a toddler and her car seat. Ingrid happens to be very tall in the torso–she doesn’t fit many car seats anymore. So we got her this Recaro Signo that looks a lot like a miniature La-Z-Boy. I had visions trying to stuff this mongo car seat on the plane while Ingrid rolled down the jetway after struggling to drag our luggage down the ramp.
My visions of hardship go on and on, but I’ll spare you the details. Suffice it to say I made myself so stressed out in the days leading up to the trip, I started getting really snippy with Kyle–always a terrific start to a vacation. At that point, we understood why we didn’t travel more often.
The ending is probably no surprise. It all turned out to be a hundred times easier than I imagined and here’s why: what I was really worried about was inconveniencing people. It was trying to get through security as fast as possible or getting the car seat on the plane without making anyone wait. As someone who has always valued being conscientious, I’d taken it to its ridiculous extreme. In some ways, that same worry is what’s kept us from traveling at all: the thought that someone back at the office might be put out by our absence. The irony is no one has ever lived up to that worry–it’s just an ugly phantom in our heads.
The most important thing I learned on this trip is: we can do it. And we’re going to do it a lot more often.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Good for you! A vacation, however much it may worry you in advance, is a good thing. I’m glad that it went well for you in the end.
Excellent. And perhaps there is a lesson in this beyond the obvious…that we should all take the time we need to accomplish the things that have to happen. (Such as getting a car seat properly secured.)
We don’t have to dawdle or waste people’s time, but if we are doing a simple but important task such as that in the most efficient manner we can, that is all we should expect of ourselves. Living in a society means that people are on occasion going to have to wait a half a second or more for someone else. It will never hurt them.
and you should just relax and stop worrying!
Jessica- Yes, we really needed it. It’s almost like fasting. You stress about it beforehand, struggle through it, then feel cleansed and renewed afterward (or so I hear). That’s how I’m feeling now anyway!
Ty- I love your insight: “we should all take the time we need to accomplish the things that have to happen.” Perfect!!
Jenn- Easy for you to say! That’s like me suggesting you shouldn’t plan for things! (imagine muppet laugh here)
Haha, yes that’s the worst thing about traveling with kids – thinking about it:) When you actually do it it’s not that bad. I visited Newport about 23 years ago and still remember the dluge of bubbles caused by emptying a whole bottle of bubble bath into the hotel spa (don’t do that) and the visit to the mansions (wonderful.)
Annabel,
We did not empty bubbles into the hotel spa, though I’m sure my daughter would have loved that. In fact, the miracle of the whole pool experience was at some point my daughter told me she had to go potty. I couldn’t believe she didn’t just go in the pool like most kids. I was so proud! LOL
Sounds like you needed to see you could do it! We put off going abroad with our son for two years because we were worried about how he’d react to planes and being far from home somewhere where there’s no beach etc, after we found out he was autistic. Before that we’d travelled with him and he was mostly ok. So we spent a month in the UK and Paris last summer and it was pretty much a disaster! We nearly didn’t get on several planes because he was so scared… So we’re not giving up – this year we’ll travel by plane to go the beach here. One small step at a time and hopefully, we’ll be back globetrotting with both kids soon! Thanks for your encouraging post.
Thank you, Sandrine! Sorry to hear your little guy was so scared of the plane. Maybe as he gets older it will get better. Like you, I have put off the globe-trotting with kids due to long plane flights and time zone differences. But now a very good friend of mine has moved to the UK and wants us to come visit (she has a daughter about the age of my little girl). I’m thinking I may try it. As I keep telling myself, what’s the worst that could happen?!
Thanks so much for stopping by. It great to have mutual encouragement!
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