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- Achieving Balance
In the business world, many people scoff when they hear the words “goals and metrics,” probably because both are often abandoned soon after creation (if you’re lucky). But when it comes to figuring what I want from life and how I’ll know I’ve achieved it, there hardly seems a more worthy activity.
One of the big turning points in my pursuit of happiness was discovering Jennifer Michael Hecht’s definition of the term in her book The Happiness Myth. She suggests there are three aspects to happiness, and while all must be present to truly achieve the state, they are also often at odds with one another. Here, I break down each aspect and offer my thinking in terms of goals and metrics.
1. A good day: forgettable mild pleasures and rewarding efforts
The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not our circumstances. Martha Washington
I need two things for a good day, the first being about 7 hours of sleep the night prior. If you want to know what happens when I don’t get enough, just hang out with a two-year old who’s missed their nap. Getting enough sleep makes everything easier, it enables me to see the silver lining in the day’s events.
The other thing I need is a collection of Little Things. By definition, you probably don’t realize the power of individual Little Things, like a cup of tea, a snuggly, sleepy cat, a warm Spring day, or a long shower. But put enough Little Things together, and the synergy really adds up. Whenever I suspect I’m going to have a stressful day, I prep myself by taking a long shower, putting on my favorite pair of underwear, and drinking a good cup of tea. It’s amazing what I can conquer with that set of Little Things!
Metrics for a good day: at least 7 hours of sleep and 5-6 Little Things.
2. Euphoria: intense and memorable happiness
To the woman who complained that riches hadn’t made her happy, the Master said “You speak as if luxury and comfort were ingredients of happiness; whereas all you need to be really happy, my dear, is something to be enthusiastic about. Anthony de Mello
This was an interesting aspect to consider, because at first, I really wasn’t sure what brought about euphoria for me. That may sound odd, but recall that by necessity we are talking about infrequent events. As the quote suggests, I learned what really makes me euphoric are ideas, whether it’s for a book I want to write or how I can make it as an entrepreneur. Ironically, I don’t even need to follow through on the ideas to experience the euphoria. (One reason why too much euphoria can be dangerous!)
Metrics for euphoria: time to dream up an exciting idea about 1-2x per month
3. A happy life: requires a lot of difficult work (studying, striving, nurturing, mourning, etc)
The human spirit needs to accomplish, to achieve, to triumph to be happy. Ben Stein
Hecht argues modern society focuses too much on this aspect of happiness in our quest for productivity and longevity. I’m not sure I completely agree. In our attempts to accomplish, achieve and triumph, it’s easy to get bogged down in the pain and frustration and quit before we get to the good stuff. I think this happens a lot in the business world which has become risk averse and is at the core of a lot of morale problems on the job.
A happy life involves risk, which is why it often clashes with a good day or euphoria. Woody Allen said, “The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.” Who takes happiness advice from Woody Allen? But we hear this kind of advice a lot and I think it’s deceiving. Raging consumerism will not produce a happy life, but wearing the cloak of a life-long learner just might (it does for me). Whether or not “wanting more than what you have” is a bad thing depends a lot on what you’re talking about. Sure, some say ignorance is bliss, I just don’t happen to subscribe to that theory. Wanting more wisdom, more opportunities to explore through travel, and more courage to tackle meaningful challenges all sound perfectly aligned with a happy life.
Metrics for a happy life: May I never stop yearning
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