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Nagging has such a bad reputation.  

Are these examples familiar to you?  I am continually nagging the cats to get off the kitchen counter.  The cats are nagging me to throw some sad resemblance of a mouse across the floor, again and again. 

Ingrid nags me to kick her beach ball instead of performing unnecessary activities like making dinner.   Then the litany in my own head to write thank you notes, update the family photo album, return the library books on time, stop twirling my hair.  Even well-intentioned blogs like Unclutterer just manage to make me feel guilty and inadequate. 

Enough already!

So it seemed almost nonsensical to me that someone would create a website designed to nag you.  Or atleast nonsensical that anyone would use it!  

And yet…it was just quirky enough I started to think maybe the power of nagging could also be exploited for a good cause.  What if I used the service to remind me to stop being so self-critical?  Or laugh more often?  Or savor the occasional indulgence (chocolate anyone)? 

Maybe the problem isn’t nagging, but how we employ it.  It’s like getting mad at the hammer after you deliberately clobber your finger instead of using the tool to make a bookcase.  

So get creative.  How might you use a nagging service to channel a happier, more carefree you?

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10 Responses to Please, Hassle Me

    • On
    • March 4, 2010 at 9:23 pm
    • Uncle T
    • Said...

    Don’t even get started talking about nagging to men. Only a woman would ever consider using a service or someone else to intentionally nag them. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND??? Most men have already had enough of that from the women in our lives to last us a lifetime – by the time we’re 30. This is definitely a “chick” topic that men would prefer to avoid at all costs. I will pass along a definition of nagging that I think I heard Dr. Laura mention. It goes something like this: “The difference between “nagging” and constructive criticism in repetition.” In otherwords if you have to keep reminding someone of the same thing over and over again you are definitely “nagging.” I would suggest that if this is the case then nagging is not really accomplishing much other that irritating the heck out of the person that is getting nagged. Try a different approach like rewarding if you want better results -with yourself as well as your significant other.

    • Uncle T,
      Your reply made me laugh, and like your other replies, think more deeply about the topic. I think what constitutes “nagging” is not just repetition, but the willingness to receive the message. If someone told me every day something I really wanted to hear, it wouldn’t be nagging, it would be a favor. That was the point of the post. I enjoy turning things on their head to see if the outcome is different, but obviously what works for one doesn’t work for all. Hey, at least I don’t have to nag you to read my blog! LOL.
      Love you,
      Jen

    • On
    • March 5, 2010 at 12:39 am
    • Lisa
    • Said...

    I was actually in a relationship with a man who complained that I wouldn’t remind (i.e. nag) him about stuff I wanted him to do. I wanted to be able to ask once and be done with it–and wished that he would at least remember my request! But it really bugged him that I wouldn’t ask him over and over, which didn’t interest me so much. Takes all kinds, I guess.

    Anyway, I love the HassleMe website. I would actually love some friendly support and nudging for the things it’s difficult for me to attend to (or not do!). A more personalized approach would be better, but this could be a start. (I may steal this to put on FB.)

    How great that you’ve started a blog. I admire you for that! I have so much dread of making a public record of fairly quickly-written entries that I’ll cringe over later. But you’re giving me a tiny bit of courage to at least consider it.

    xoxo

    • Lisa,
      It is scary to write publicly, but what is life without a little risk, eh? And I remind myself it’s no less scary really than our poetry, we just get feedback this way. LOL Please do feel free to leave a link to the blog on Facebook any time. This is not a private blog in any sense. New people are always welcome!

    • On
    • March 5, 2010 at 7:29 am
    • reader2rider
    • Said...

    It’s true, men hate to be nagged by their wives. Nagging even features in one of Larkin’s anti-matrimony poems. All it is is being reminded of chores you’ve put off doing because they’re boring, because you’re busy doing other chores, or because you’re feeling lazy. The worst kind of nagging is when you’re reminded to do something you were about to do anyway, on your own. You think, Oh this is just great: now, when I do it, it’ll look like I’m doing it only because I was reminded to do it. Who ever grows up enough to just let something like that go? There is something deeply comic about all of this. Sitcom writers never get tired of it. And I don’t think any automated on-line “nagging” service can ever get it quite right.

    To be ideally happy (and never be nagged again), I would need a staff of servants.

  4. Maybe the problem isn’t nagging, but how we employ it. It’s like getting mad at the hammer after you deliberately clobber your finger instead of using the tool to make a bookcase.

    I’m actually very good at this sort of thing. Two years ago I was very angry with the hood of our 10+ year old Honda Accord for re-breaking two of my knuckles (thus, Knucks) … thankfully, I recovered quickly enough to realize the smile on Ann Marie’s face wasn’t from me being a moron (again), but because I then had to relinquish the wheel for the drive back to beautiful downtown Fords, New Joisey (we were in PA) and thus use the 10+ year old Honda Accord for what they probably designed it for. I did my best to nag her about heavy gas peddle foot (at close to four fazools a gallon, somebody had to say something), but she just turned up the volume on the radio.

    Once home, however, she did nag me about how I’d have to figure out how to tie my shoes with my one good hand because she wasn’t doing it.

    Women …

    • Okay, I’m going to respectfully suggest you guys are getting caught up in the term nagging and missing my point. Imagine you could get reminders for things you want to do. What if your wife reminded you to have sex at some frequency of your choosing, not in irritated way, but in a way that celebrated your relationship? What if your boss reminded you once a week to take time for yourself in addition to the job? Would that be nagging? I’d argue no. But, hey, what do I know? I’m a woman. I just rather liked the idea of someone reminding me to focus on the positive. Sometimes I think I need it.

    • On
    • March 7, 2010 at 4:13 pm
    • reader2rider
    • Said...

    Yes, I agree, the word “nagging” is off-putting. My office computer frequently beeps at me and plasters a little notice over whatever I was doing at the moment reminding me of a meeting. It does feel a little bit like nagging, I have to admit, even though I’m the one that told it to do that. My PHONE even nags me now. What I would love to have is a web site or phone app that somehow participates in the process, rather than simply reminding me to get moving. Is that so wrong?

    • It’s not wrong. I dislike the beeping noises on my computer too. They’re the Heather Locklear character of Microsoft.

      But I’m still thinking about this nagging thing. Stay tuned!

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