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Ever had that anticlimactic feeling directly after accomplishing something big?  I remember defending my dissertation for my PhD and thinking to myself, “That’s funny.  I don’t feel any different.”  If you remember Sadya Siddiqui’s guest post on creating to-be lists instead of to-do lists, you immediately start to recognize a problem.  Many of the things we put on our to-be list aren’t really that significant.

One reason the PhD didn’t feel like such a big deal is because my life didn’t change that much.  I didn’t even get a pay raise!  Maybe we need a third list to really get our heart pumping: the to-change list.  On that list, we think of ways to truly make and mark significant changes in our life.

Change is hard, but do you know exactly how hard?  According to an article in Fast Company, only 10% of people actually follow through on significant personal change, even when that change is a matter of life or death.  It turns out what motivates people to change is not fear of a burning platform, but hope, joy and anticipation.   It goes back to my post on rewarding your inner seeker: the rush of the chase can often propel you towards change you otherwise wouldn’t be willing to make.

When we initially learned we were being reassigned to Montgomery, Alabama, I nearly cried.  I had come to love our house and the charm of living in Dayton, Ohio.  We had good friends, good jobs, and bosses we admired.  All that goodness was precisely the problem.  As the Fast Company article also points out, research shows “that radical, sweeping, comprehensive changes are often easier for people than small, incremental ones.”  Staying in Dayton, where I’m comfortable, would have made it much harder to break my ties with science and really pursue my writing.  I noticed that over 60+ posts on this blog, I’ve hardly talked about my life-altering decisions at all.  And I think that’s because I’m not living them yet.

So here we are, rolling down the driveway, cats howling, my daughter yelling for a toy on the floor out of reach, and the car sagging a little from its burden.  I feel like I’m in a movie and someone should cue the band to play the Air Force song.  Tomorrow will be different.  I’m really going to change my life.  Off we go, into the wild blue yonder.  I couldn’t be happier.

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4 Responses to Off We Go

    • On
    • July 23, 2010 at 5:36 am
    • Sadya
    • Said...

    Dr. Jen
    I think we all believe that change is something that happens to us or that its an outward force. I noticed about myself lately that all major changes in life were something that happened to me, not something I did on my own. So I’ve reached that stage where change is something that i have to create on my own, and make it an inward force.

    Maybe that’s why the PHd didn’t feel life changing to you at all. It was a complete phase , a cycle coming to an end. but my guess is that starting the PhD must have felt like a life changing event.

    • Sadya,
      There’s so much I want to say in reply to this, but trying to put together a lengthy and cogent response is more than I have in me eight now, esp with only my iPhone! I should have my Internet back up in a couple days. I hope you’ll be patient and come back to discuss, because what you’re bringing up is important. All I’ll say for now is I feel lucky to have readers as intelligent as yourself. This why I love blogging!

  2. A “to-change” list is a fabulous concept…unique and enormously challenging, compelling and essential! I think we often expect that all of our “to doing” will get us “to being” the person we seek to be. But without a commitment to the “changing” piece, we may find ourselves saying, as you suggest, “Is that all there is?”

    You always give me something new and wonderful to think about, Jen! Thanks!

    • Dawn- And I always lobe your summaries of my posts. You have a real gift for clarity! You got my point exactly. It’s much easier to focus on doing, and in some cases even being, without fully considering the change needed to make it all real. I certainly feel I not only learned that lesson through experience, but apparently need to learn it over and over again!