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It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed these days.

I don’t mind working hard.  In fact, I enjoy it.  But I also want a life.

The first time I really struggled with that balance was in college.  I attended a military academy, so in addition to studying (which I thought I knew how to do), I now had to shine shoes, practice pull-ups, and do work in the squadron. 

Crazy me, I also wanted to attend a party or two.

I tried eliminating as much from my to-do list as possible so I could focus on what mattered: my classes.  The result was that my grades actually declined.

What I inadvertently discovered was Parkinson’s Law: work expands to fill the time available to complete it.  

As with my grades, more time doesn’t always equate to better performance.

It’s why productivity experts who try to solve your problems by telling you to just focus may be giving you the worst possible advice. 

Because if you harbor perfectionist tendencies or lack self discipline or are really overwhelmed by a fear of doing something big, focusing is more likely to set you back than propel you forward.  The more you focus, the more time tasks take. 

It can actually be a productivity death spiral.

I’m not the first to talk about the magic of the imminent deadline to squeeze out excellence and get more done.  But few proponents are honest enough to warn you that done incorrectly, this technique can go horribly wrong too.  

This post will set the record straight and help you get your productive mojo back in no time.

How to relax by doing more

My academic advisor once teased that if college were an eight year program, I would have been top of my class.  It wasn’t until my junior and senior years, right when my classes were at their most difficult, I finally cracked the GPA code.

My secret?

I signed up for the cross country ski team.  And became a disc jockey for the college radio station.  And performed in the school musical as well as the traveling choral group.

The more extracurricular activities I added, the more my grades improved. 

There’s a limit, obviously, but this technique works inside and outside the academic environment.  There are two rules to making a Parkinson’s Law inspired schedule work:

  1. You only add activities you really want to do
  2. The schedule for said activities should, as much as possible, be outside your control

It’s important to follow both of these rules.  Adding activities you feel you “should” do, but don’t enjoy will only leave you feeling agitated and more overwhelmed.  Adding activites you enjoy but that have no accountability will get put off until “you have more time” (i.e. never).

For example, lots of couples say they’re going to schedule date nights, but never follow through on it.  There’s always something that needs to be done first, so they promise ”maybe next week.” 

You’ll notice all the extracurricular activities I listed were ones where other people were counting on me to show up.  So if you really want to spend time with your spouse outside the house, try forming a dinner club with a group of friends instead. 

In general, if there’s something you’re always saying you’d do if you only had more time: do that. 

Find yourself excited by some activity, but wondering if you should really do one more thing?  Just say yes.

It’s a great excuse to volunteer, socialize, and play–all the things that are likely to make you happy, not stressed.

But what about all the work you still have to do?  This is where the magic happens. 

Something that isn’t much fun at all when you “focus” on it can be a pleasure in small doses.  This is what I discovered in college.

Almost everyone will tell you they have a “love of learning,” but few look forward to an extra few hours of studying.  In fact, you probably remember passing up party invitations with a deep sigh, telling friends, “I have to study.” 

We somehow convinced ourselves that acquiring knowledge takes vast quantities of focused time. 

When you look forward to an activity, you often become more effective and efficient.  When you’re motivated to learn, it’s amazing how much easier (and fun) it is than you originally made it out to be.

And if it doesn’t become more fun in small doses?  Don’t worry.  You won’t have to work on it for long until you can skip off to one of your fun new activities.

A word of caution

I mentioned previously that this technique has the potential to go horribly wrong, usually due to one of two reasons:

  1. Something unexpected happens that sucks up a bunch of your time
  2. You get a little too “yes” happy for your own good

Of course, I know about both of these firsthand. 

What happened was this: people kept asking me to make my ideas on career design more executable by creating a course or offering coaching.  I was excited about the project, I had a ton of ideas on how to do it, but I never seemed to make time for on my schedule. 

A month rolled by with nothing but dreaming.  And then another.

So I took my own advice and offered to coach a select few through a pilot program (if you didn’t hear about it, it’s because you’re not a newsletter subscriber).

It worked great!  I didn’t eliminate anything from my life, the time constraints I’d complained of disappeared, and the course came to life.

The problem?  Right after I launched the pilot program, we got word the military was moving us to London.  All we had to do was a list of 50 or so items over the next few weeks.  

Ordinarily this would have been fine, especially given the end result, but I no longer had schedule flexibility while creating and administering my pilot program.

And somewhere in there I also decided this was a good time to attend advanced training on public speaking.

So yeah, my life is actually a bit miserable right now.  I’m hardly sleeping, I’m not working out, all kinds of things are slipping through the cracks, which is stressing me out, and there’s no one to blame but myself.

I also don’t regret my decisions one bit. 

I created my course.  I can’t tell you how proud I am of that.  I’m so excited to offer it to a wider audience this Fall. 

And it never would have happened if I hadn’t taken the chance and just said yes.

The biggest payoffs come with risk.  And sometimes, despite our best intentions, life gets wonky.

It’s worth it.

Because I know I’ll reach equilibrium again.  The tasks of moving will eventually get done.  My conference on speaking will be intense, but enriching.  I like short bursts of learning, remember?

You’re never going to relax by focusing on the chores of your life.  The reason we often feel overwhelmed isn’t because we’re too busy, but because our lives are too full of drudgery.  And we fill it with drugery because we’re too afraid to fail at the things that matter to us.

The secret to a fulfilling life is to live a full life.

Stop saying no to all the things you wish you could do.  Stop telling yourself you don’t have time.

Life is woefully short.  So go ahead, be productive.

Just say yes.

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53 Responses to The Worst Productivity Advice (& How It Can Hurt You)

  1. Hi Jen!
    Excellent post and very timely as I wonder whether or not I have time to take a walk this morning. Also, this post gives me hope for getting things done once my stepchildren are out of school for the summer. :-)

    Peace to you.
    Melissa Gorzelanczyk

    • Yes, when we make the move to London, our daughter won’t be in school for a couple of months until we find her a place. Instead of paying for daycare for such a short time, I’m contemplating keeping her at home and trying to work at the same time. It sounds crazy but I think it might just work!

      Hope you got the walk in. It’s about all I have in me these days!

    • On
    • May 10, 2011 at 8:45 am
    • Sherry
    • Said...

    As someone who currently works, has a blog, writes short articles for other sites, and is trying to finish a couple of books, I’m very heartened by this advice. Mainly because I’m adding another blog and grad school to my list. I hope it works like you say and doesn’t backfire!
    Thanks for the boost.

    • Sherry,
      Think hard about grad school. Not because of the time, but the money. We can talk offline, but you might be better off putting together your own study course or taking a mini-course rather than going back to school. Depends on your goals, as always. Let me know if I can help!

    • On
    • May 10, 2011 at 8:55 am
    • Mack
    • Said...

    Speaking of productivity, do you think that students can be both social and productive with tools such as Flipboard >>> http://twurl.nl/o84cs8

    • Mack,
      I haven’t used flipboard, so I can’t speak to that product specifically. I think the problem with online tools such as that it’s a little too easy to spend more or less time than you anticpate. So you either put it off (like date night) or it becomes a huge time sink (like email/twitter) with little productive outcome. Not to say it can’t work, but it ups the self discipline requirement.

  4. Great post. After the intro I was going to point out that the opposite of Parkinson’s law is *not* true – work won’t always condense to fit into the time you allot for it. But it seems like you figured that out :)

    Really good to see a post from someone who admits they are overwhelmed with everything they’ve taken on, but remains unphased. To me this is an important aspect of getting things done. I realized recently that I’m most comfortable living in a state of mild crisis – I’ve gotten used to it, from all the projects I pursue. Late nights and busy schedules do mean stress, but it can be exhilarating stress.

    Most blog posts on this topic either act like it will be no problem at all, or are humorous pieces complaining about how hard it is. This was different and refreshing. I like your style.

    • Drew,
      Yeah, apparently you have to learn some lessons the hard way. Repeatedly. LOL

      I think you’re right. If you have balance all the time, you’re probably not stretching enough. The key to dial back now and then so you don’t burnout or hurt your relationships. What would we call it: balancing the balance? Oh lordy, that sounds complicated. :)

      Glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for your thoughtful response. Great to have you as a luminary!

  5. This is brilliant, Jen. SO excited for all the amazing places (literally and figuratively) that life is leading you in the coming year.

    You are an inspiration to me as I make MAJOR changes in my life and business this year, too! Thanks.

    This advice is so helpful right now as I’m transitioning from the creative stage of my book writing to the more “business” side of marketing and stretching the reach of my message.

    • Steve,

      Yes, the switch from more creative tasks to more business tasks can be hard, though I happen to enjoy both. It’s an exciting time for both of us. Keep us posted!

  6. Jen, I love this advice! I think I’m just too yes-happy, though. Even if I love every one of the things I’m doing, having my life too packed, or even just too scheduled, makes me really tired. I love the high of doing a lot of things that I love, and I do get a lot more done when there’s a lot to do, but in the long term, I’m happiest when I have enough time to do things slowly and space out a lot.

    • It’s okay to be too yes-happy for a short period of time, if you have something really important. That’s why I don’t regret my current situation, even though I’m miserable. It’s all goodness AND I know I have a break coming. Soon. If you push too hard for too long, you can think the only solution is to pull back permanently, but you might get by with just a break. And of course, what’s slacking for one person is lazy for another. I look at some folks and think, “How do they do it all?” (Farnoosh, are your ears burning? I mean you!)

      The key is to keep experimenting. Of course, a scientist blogger would say that, wouldn’t she?

    • On
    • May 10, 2011 at 9:41 am
    • Marta DeGraw
    • Said...

    Hi Jen,

    Thanks for such a fantastic post–and the kick in the pants that accompanies it. I especially appreciate your comment that our lives are too full of drudgery. And we fill it with drudgery because we’re too afraid to fail at the things that matter to us.

    Yikes, that is so true! And so many of us don’t even realize this truth. Thank you for reminding me of this, and best wishes with your move. I’m sure everything will work out brilliantly, simply because it IS important to you and your family!

    Best,
    Marta

    • Marta,

      Yes, that’s what I learned when I finally committed to the pilot program. My schedule wasn’t what was holding me back, it was fear. But to make our own mental assertions true, we fill our days with meaningless busy work. It’s a vicious cycle.

      Thanks for the well wishes. We’re very excited!

  8. Excellent post – I find that recently, since I have more time, I am getting less done – like my second novel! While in graduate school, I had to put together a museum exhibition with another student as a part of my Masters’ degree. While doing this, are you ready, I was working full-time, attending school at night, finishing my Masters’ thesis, planning my wedding and step-parenting a teenager who was now living with my soon to be husband, planning Thanksgiving for 35 people at our small townhouse. I not only got it all done, but I was proud of my work product and took pride in how I handled so much responsibility.

    • I find the same as Denise. More stuff to do actually challenges and invigorates…up to a certain point. Currently, I am at the point where I need to decompress. But, I should be back at it tomorrow and raring to go.

      • Shanna,
        Yes, I’m at the needing to decompress and I’ve set a timeline for myself. But you’re right, up to a point, you get more energy from challenge instead of less. It’s a powerful lesson!

    • Exactly, Denise. I look forward to hearing what new, exciting activities you add to your list to force yourself to get that novel done. I might suggest you commit to sending the draft of the novel to someone as well. Committing to yourself is one thing, committing to others usually works better. Isn’t it sad we aren’t afraid to disappoint ourselves?

  9. Great post Jen. The minute it feels like an obligation for me, I withdraw my participation. Fun has many faces for me and I tend to find it in whatever I do (well stay doing that is) so I would agree with your point of view. It is dangerous advise to give to someone like me never the less.

    You might have figured out our solution (mine and my wife’s that is) to date night. Get our friends to join us. Whenever we say we will do something with friends, no matter what comes up, it can wait. If it is just the two of us, we change out plans. Will give that a shot!

    • Thabo,
      Of course, we can’t withdraw from every obligation. Sometimes the drugery really does need to get done. But by forcing ourselves to do it in as short amount of time as possible, at least we reduce the pain.

      Let me know how your new friends’ night works out! We finally got a babysitter, after nearly 10 months of saying maybe next week, to attend a party at a friend’s house. Amazing!

    • On
    • May 10, 2011 at 10:21 am
    • Stacey
    • Said...

    Like Marta, I love the point you made that life can feel overwhelming when we fill it with drudgery. And I also agree with Cara that filling our lives with meaningful and satisfying activities can still leave us feeling overwhelmed and out-of-sorts.

    Human beings are wired to seek novelty and I really believe that we’re happiest when we challenge ourselves. So we stretch ourselves and find that we always have a little (if not a lot) too much on our plate. We generally feel slightly overwhelmed. And that can feel stressful. But, like you said, it doesn’t have to.

    I’ve found a helpful mantra to be, “Reach and then find balance.” It allows for bursts of intense activity and also rest. I’ve found it really helps boost my productivity *and* happiness.

    Thanks again for a great post! Like Drew, I really appreciate your candor. (I always LOVE how much your readers add to the conversation!)

    • Totally agree, Stacey! The burst and rest idea is a good one. Maybe my next post should be about how to schedule rest. :)

      And I agree with your other point: the best part of this blog is the readers and the wonderful insights they add to mine. I feel very lucky!

        • On
        • May 11, 2011 at 3:22 pm
        • Stacey
        • Said...

        Your readers *are* amazing, but YOU are the best part of this blog. “Build it and they will come” only happens when you build something extraordinary. Thanks so much for all your great work.

    • On
    • May 10, 2011 at 11:08 am
    • K00kyKelly
    • Said...

    I’m struggling with this advice. I’ve found it to be 100% true in the past, but not recently. 
    I feel like a piece of the equation is missing.  Since I started my 9-5job after graduating from school I seem to alternate between not sleeping enough (happy, but physically feeling unwell) and focusing on getting enough sleep (unhappy because my schedule is only work, dinner, and housework on weeknights).

    Also, I tend to put too much pressure on my boyfriend (who I live with) because he will pick up the slack around the house, but will slowly come to resent it and feel overwhelmed by drudgery himself.

    Writing this all out, the answer seems to be finding a new job.  If my job really is that much in the drudgery category, then why am I still here?  Oh, right …because I can’t decide what career path to pursue next.  …because I don’t want to quit during a recession with no clear plan.  …because I don’t want being jobless to affect possible job prospects.

    All of this seems to speak to the idea of energy management instead of time management. Do more things that infuse you with energy and less things that drain you. Having an extra two hours to get something done isn’t much good if you need that time to recover…

    • I think you’ve hit the nail on the head, Kelly. If your job is drugery and your housework is drugery, no wonder you aren’t sleeping well! You’re going to find a new career. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get you in the Pilot Program, but the full program will come out soon. In the meantime, why don’t you pick up a copy of Nicholas Lore’s book The Pathfinder and starting reading that? I think you’re feeling unsettled because you know there’s a thing (a BIG thing) that needs to be done and you’re not making progress on it. The longer you put it off, the more the physical side effects will manifest. Take it from someone who knows, and even more importantly, take care of yourself. You’re going to be ok. I promise!

  12. Such a great message Jen. It’s a great way to start the day. You’ve got me inspired for all the work I have ahead of me.

    I’m working on my own ecourse and it definitely stresses me out. Im glad to know I’m not alone. And I look forward to the cathartic feeling you experience right now

    • Hey Brandon! Yep, it definitely feels good once you get it going. Of course, the work is never ending–always tweaking, improving, adding. But I’m very happy with it. Let me know when you’re done with yours, okay?

  13. A great post that validates the old expression: “If you want to get something done, give it to a busy person.” You qualify and carry that banner well. Good luck keeping all the planes in the air with or without radar! ~Dawn

    • LOL! I’d forgotten that saying. It’s so true. It’s one of the many reasons I’m happy to now be working for myself, so the only person tasking me is me. As I said, no one to blame but myself! :)

  14. Thanks for reminding me of something that I used to know! In high school, I was in all the music groups and all the clubs and still managed excellent grades. As an adult I convinced myself that it was because I didn’t have bills to pay and groceries to buy that I was able to do so much…but it was probably because I loved everything I did that I was able to do it all!

    Now I just need to find that sort of passion for daily activities as an adult and I’ll be onto something. :)

    • I think this is my problem exactly: “need to find that sort of passion for daily activities”

      • Most of us are struggling with that, Kelly. You’re aren’t alone! (Or I wouldn’t need to write this blog)

    • Exactly, Jessica. That wild, crazy, productive woman is still inside you. You just have to set her free. Don’t agonize too much on trying to find the perfect addition. Just pick something that sounds fun and see how it goes. Moving forward and changing direction is better than standing in place.

  15. Hi Jen, read that all the way through with interest because I have to move house too sometime within the next six weeks.

    My first impulse was to start packing and getting organised. But then I realised that was fruitless because then I’d spend 6 weeks in moving purgatory instead of the one or two weeks that are probably all that’s needed.

    I think I’ve been doing what you say without realising it. I am off to Toastmasters where I’m giving my third speech tomorrow and have recently started boxercise and zumba. I can’t let my fitness drop not because I want to be super fit but because it’s important for my mental health plus I spend too much time at home. I need to get out and meet people:)

    And magically more work is getting done. Yesterday after weeks of plodding along I was super productive. And once you’re on a roll it’s hard to stop.

    And of course after a while of saying yes to everything you can always say no for a bit too while you recover. Because sometimes it’s good not to be productive at all:)

    • Annabel,
      I’ve always been an admirer of your approach to life, so I’m not surprised a bit you already do this. It’s a good reminder–if you say yes and find you don’t like, you’re not committed forever. A lady (or a man) is allowed to change her mind.

      Good point on the exercise. I’m anxious to get to London and get into a new workout schedule. I do need it!

  16. G’Day Jennifer,
    Sooooo true. I work mainly with managers in small-medium business.

    One of the biggest issues I encounter is to help them distinguish between “doing” and “getting done.”

    It’s not the number of balls you try to keep in the air. It’s not knowing the value of the ones you drop.

    That’s enough homespun Aussie philosophy for one day!

    Make sure you have fun

    Regards

    Leon

    • Leon,
      LOL, your homespun Aussie advice is welcome any time! :)

    • On
    • May 10, 2011 at 7:50 pm
    • Caroline
    • Said...

    Glad I stumbled upon this article today. It’s a great source of inspiration for me.

    • Caroline,
      I’d love to know how it works for you. Come back and update us!

  18. Loved this post Jen!
    I have heard it said that a job will expand to fill the time allotted. If you have all afternoon to do a job, it will take all afternoon. However, it you have an appointment to walk with a friend at 3pm, I bet you will finish that job by 3 pm!
    I find myself stuck at a point where I have said NO too many times now, and need to start saying Yes to a select few things.
    Congrats on the pilot course and the move!
    Bernice
    Are you stuck in a rut?

    • Of course, in your situation, saying no a few times probably makes sense. But yes, it’s time to turn that around and fully unleash the power of Bernice. I’m personally looking forward to it. :)

    • On
    • May 11, 2011 at 7:01 pm
    • Danielle
    • Said...

    Hi there. It feels completely weird to write here, but I feel compelled today…I’m normally a bit of a lurker. :)

    I subscribed to your blog 2-3 months ago and am always happy when I have a new post in my inbox. Reading what you write inspires and encourages me to move toward being the person I want to be – or maybe at least having the life I want to have.

    Right, so a little bit about me…working mom, three kiddos, and stay-at-home-dad hubby. Work CONSUMES me most of the time, but I do love my job. I struggle with the work/life balance. When I feel great about my job, I feel like a terrible wife and mother. When I feel like I’ve got the great mom thing worked out, I always feel guilty that I’m not giving enough at work.

    I recently committed to being a Girl Scout leader for my daughter’s troop (juniors) next year. I’m excited and terrified at the same time. I always try to attend meetings and support the troop however I can, but because it’s not a formal commitment, I feel like I’ve let myself down (my husband has had to drop off/pick up a few times this year). So now I’ve said YES! And it feels good. The fear of not being able *be there* has all but disappeared now that I’ve made a real commitment.

    However, saying yes hasn’t always worked out for me. For instance, I committed to running the Boston Marathon two years ago – for charity…having only ever run one 5k in my life. Not only did I not end up being able to run (back injury), I also failed miserably at raising the minimum required funds in donations. It was tough to ask people for money for the cause once I had to also say I wasn’t running. I was too embarrassed. Obviously, not a well thought out goal…but we learn…hopefully not to stop saying yes, but to say yes when it makes sense.

    Sorry, I’m rambling. I suppose what I am trying to say is that I REALLY related to this post, and you explained it perfectly. I hope lots more people take this advice. I will.

    I love everyday bright! And someday I will run that marathon…and make those date nights a reality! :)

    Thanks so much for all you do. Congratulations, too!

    D

    • Hooray for unlurking! You just totally made my day! :)

      I find the same is true of dieting. It’s as simple as committing. I recently made a commitment to not buy any candy for the rest of the year (yikes! now I’ve said it publicly too!). What used to be so hard and involved me fighting with myself and usually feeling guilty has now become the easiest thing in the world. I said I wouldn’t do something, so I don’t.

      Sounds like the Girl Scout commitment is the same thing–you just needed to get to the right place and time in your life where you were ready to say YES. So maybe this post is really about how to get yourself to that place sooner? I’m not sure. I know that moment often comes after some failure(s), so failure definitely serves its purpose.

      As for the marathon: I’ve run two, but had to stop due to real damage in my knees. The doctor told me the body just wasn’t designed to run those kinds of distances, and certainly not on pavement. In retrospect, I wish I’d just stuck to 10 milers. It is, in my opinion, the perfect distance. Now all I can manage is 3 miles. So sometimes, failure may just save you from yourself. :)

      Hope to hear from you more often, Danielle!

  20. Jen,
    I thoroughly enjoyed this article.
    I have been one of those people who struggle a lot with what I want to do, and what i should be doing.
    To be honest, many times, I actually struggled between wanting to catch a movie, and should be working on my project. And when I ended up at the should end, I found I wasn’t very productive either.
    I thoroughly agree with keeping in small doses. Small doses create small wins, which gives us the fun, satisfaction and motivation to want to keep going. It could actually turn into a want-to-do.

    • Joseph,
      Exactly! If you pack activities you should do into small time periods, they can actually become want to do. I think that’s the theory behind the 30 minute clean up, though I execute it so rarely, it’s hard to know. That’s also why it’s good to have it out of your control. If I made it a habit with my 4 year old, then I’d probably stick to it.

      I think we’re all struggling with how productive we are. I know I do a lot. Before I met my husband, I was go go go all the time. He taught me there is productive value in doing fun or even restful activities. Wise man! (to be fair, he’d say I still haven’t quite learned the lesson–lol)

      • One of my mentors once taught me the difference between a Human Being and a Human Doing (me :-P ).
        Human Doings keep doing to get to the next thing.
        Human Beings enjoy what they are doing in the present moment.

    • On
    • May 12, 2011 at 6:59 am
    • Amanda
    • Said...

    Jen,

    When I lived in a large apartment with dozens of acquaintences I found myself with too much stuff and too much to do. I had opened myself up to everything under the sun but still had no time, money or energy for things I wanted to do. It wasn’t until I had a baby and moved aboard a sailboat that I finally started to downsize. Friends who didn’t “get” kids and stuff that couldn’t fit on a 36′ vessel. Then I noticed if I really wanted to do something, I made time and all those things that took up so much physical and emotional space were thrown overboard (forgive the boat pun).

    • Amanda,

      Totally agree–it’s amazing how much our life starts to revolve around our stuff. It’s a good point to add here, that stuff (whether physical, mental, or emotional) will drain you in ways you’re not even aware of. Downsizing is not just some hip new movement to save money. It can save your life. So glad you got in the life boat! (I love puns–please feel free to make them frequently)

      VERY cool that you live on a sailboat with the fam. My in-laws live on a sailboat and my hubby has always toyed with the idea himself. I think I could deal with the space issue, but I’m not much of an outdoors person. I told him our flat in London might be the equivalent size to the inside of a sailboat though, so it’s sort of the same thing. :)

  22. Once again you show me why I like your blog so much. You take a topic spoken about constantly (Productivity) and show a whole new angle we might have missed.

    I’m guilty. You are right, work begets more work. As does laziness I suppose.

    Your advice will help me be aware of it and allow me to make the changes I must.

    • Thanks, Bryce. I’m glad that what I love doing is also of service. Let me know just one thing you do to try out this idea. I’m starting to understand that inspiration is great, but accountability may be even better. ;)

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