Letting Go, Even When You Don’t Want To

by | Jun 3, 2014 | Science of Happiness | 38 comments

I t’s gutting, isn’t it?

You’ve finally found that thing that makes you feel giddy and alive—maybe it’s a job, or a place, or a person you think you could spend the rest of your life with.

And then, bang. It’s over.

Maybe you were fired. Maybe your positioned is being moved to Newark. Maybe they just weren’t that into you. Whatever the reason, someone else has decided the good times are over and there’s nothing you can do about it.

When you’re in the middle of that pain, you can’t help but wonder: what if that was as good as it gets?

Will I have to settle for something that will always feel less than?

In a little over a month, my family and I will be leaving London and moving to Seattle. For months I battled a sense of melancholy (otherwise known as quiet despair). I tried again and again to find a way to stay, but in the end, I just couldn’t make it work. Deep in my heart, I knew returning to the States was the right decision for our family.

I just wasn’t happy about it.

You see, London is not just a cool, international city. It is a place where my family has formed a deep community. My life is overflowing with friends, interesting people, and fellow writers and entrepreneurs. I have work I love, people I love spending time with, and a lifestyle I love. I work hard, and maybe for the first time, I play hard.

I’ll admit it. A part of me is afraid life will never be this good again.

That’s when I realized I needed to let go. And it didn’t have to be as hard as I was making it.

Finding something you love is the hard part, but not for the reason we think. We tell ourselves that we’re searching for something unique, rare. It’s the needle in the haystack theory of love. The soul mate myth.

The reason it’s hard to find what you love is that there are simply so many possibilities.

The good part about finding something you love, even if it’s now over, is that you know it exists. And that means you have have a much better chance of finding it again.

Once you realize the possibilities are plentiful, you can stop feeling like you’re at love’s mercy.

your heart is bigger

In my case, I realized England doesn’t have the lock on beautiful places to vacation or cities where one can happily live without a car. London isn’t the only source of good schools, theaters, neighborhoods, or concerts. In fact, these experiences have opened my eyes to how replicable they are.

The end is just a gateway to a new beginning.

I can’t say if Seattle will be the place that rivals London, although many people who know me have predicted I’ll like it there. But I do have a pretty good idea of what I’m looking for now. And that makes me pretty certain that the lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed has more to do with my attitude and approach to life than where I live.

Personally, I’m ready to celebrate my new beginning. So I decided to host a free party for any readers or clients who can make it to London on Saturday, June 14. The event is completely free to attend, but to get an idea how many people to expect, I’m asking people to register via the button below.

Eventbrite - London Everyday Bright meet-up

The event will be super casual. We’ll be hanging out in the top floor café at Waterstones bookstore at Picadilly, where they have some great nibbles and usually plenty of room.

This is not just a chance to say good-bye, but also a chance to help you celebrate your own new beginnings. Not sure what those might be?

Let’s chat about it.