People warned me this would happen, but I didn’t believe them. They told me leaving one full time job to do three part-time jobs was nothing short of nuts. I’d be working all the time, they said. Besides, who in the world quits a cushy government job in the middle of a recession and gives up literally hundreds of thousands of dollars in retirement for…flexibility?
And in most respects, they were right. But it wasn’t the words they were speaking we disagreed on. Buried in that advice was the undertone of do this and you’re going to be one miserable woman.
To the contrary, I’ve never happier with my work-life balance. But before you brand me a hypocrite, know this: I feel like I’m 25 again. I’m brimming with energy and enthusiasm and a sense of the possible. And yes, I’m also working a lot. It’s not the life I imagined for myself when I quit my job, but I’ve come to understand that a life of leisure, as they say, just isn’t for me.
I’ve eliminated my commute and replaced it with…work. I’ve reduced the number of meetings I attend and replaced it with…work. Since I don’t have co-workers across the hall to chat with, I rarely take breaks and I usually read while eating my lunch. As soon as my daughter goes to bed, I’m right back at it. The biggest time sink happens when my cats purposely knock my pens off my desk (or out of my hands if they’re really pissed at their neglect).
If I’d described this scene to myself a few short months ago, I would have predicted despair too. The difference? I’m doing exactly what I want to do, when I want to do it.
To understand how that’s possible, let me back-fill you on my situation. In my previous life, I worked as the Assistant Chief Scientist for a large research lab in the Air Force. I had a phenomenal boss who gave me challenging assignments and yet also understood that picking my daughter up at daycare was one of the best parts of my day. My co-workers were smart and congenial. And I got to work with some astounding scientists–neuroscientists, psychologists, biochemists–all dedicated to improving how humans work. It was heady stuff (and yes, that’s a pun).
There were a few reasons why that scenario wasn’t working for me anymore:
- My husband got reassigned and I felt living with him was part of the whole “marriage deal.”
- I finally acknowledged I was an introvert, and attending approximately 20 meetings a week was putting a choke hold on my energy levels.
- I craved flexibility. The military has a lot to recommend it (truly), but they really do expect your camouflaged butt to be in the office every day.
And so, after 16 years (20 if you count my time at the Air Force Academy), I left. Just like that. No fewer than 15 rather senior people tried to talk me out of it, and that’s a conservative guess. At some point, I stopped keeping track. But that’s only because they couldn’t imagine the awesomeness of my triple life:
- The Scientist: I evaluate scientific grants for funding (part time). This is great because even in science, people go where the money is. You have the opportunity to shape what’s happening in the field at the national level, and get inspired by/brainstorm with some of the best scientists in the world.
- The Consultant: I work part-time as a consultant for the research lab I just left. I loved the people, I believed in their mission, I just wanted to work from home. Seemed like a win-win. I do everything from mentoring to organizational design to communication strategy. I love the diversity consulting offers. And the pay.
- The Writer: This is my true passion. Ideas for articles and poems keep me up at night. If I were independently wealthy, I’d be tempted to do this full time. But then I’d have nothing to write about except schmaltzy love poems for my husband. I write whenever I can, which these days is a lot more often than it used to be.
Although it’s not technically a “job,” I also take very seriously my role as a wife and mother. I walk my daughter to daycare nearly everyday. When the weekend arrives, I devote it entirely to spending time with my family, since I no longer have to scamper off to the grocery store and Target to run errands I couldn’t do during the week. Sometimes, I even play with the cats.
What I love about this mixed bag of jobs is that I get to balance the things in a way I never could just working one job, even with a very understanding boss. My writing time allows me the solitude and creative space I crave, while my consulting job lets me interact with people and solve real problems. I can move from one kind of task to another when it suits me. When my brain gets tired of reading proposals as a scientist, I move to less taxing activities in my job as a consultant. Ideas generated in one profession commonly spill over into the other three.
But here’s the best part, and the secret to my success: none of it feels like work. My husband said to me, “I can’t believe how happy you are, and how hard you’re working.” You can say that again, honey.
Most people quit jobs that aren’t working out. What people couldn’t understand was why I would leave a job when I was so successful at it. But that’s just the point. Now I can play around with three jobs, all of which are meaningful to me. And I have the ability to define what success looks like in each one–not focusing on what’s necessary for promotion, but what I find essential for my personal growth. In the Air Force, we say flexibility is the key to air power. It’s also the key to an exciting life, but so few of us have prioritized flexibility as part of our career.
Next week I’ll talk about how you can design your own career for flexibility, and why it’s not really so scary. If you have specific questions you’d like me to answer in this series, leave them in the comment section, and I’ll incorporate them into future posts. Stay tuned and please share this post with anyone whose career doesn’t resemble the fountain of youth!
Photo note: That’s me with Chris Muratore (who works for acclaimed tribologist AndreyVoevodin at the Air Force Research Lab) learning how you make very specialized lubricants for things like satellites. You can only see about 20% of the entire behemoth instrument I’m looking into, but it was built from scratch. I love my life.
A good article. I am trying to follow some of that advice. Right now, it hasn’t taken off yet. I wish I could have three jobs I liked now. Hopefully I won’t struggle to get a toe-hold forever.
And you don’t look totally like you in that picture. =0
Ty,
I think you are coming from the more difficult side of things. One would expect a freelancer to have a larger network to draw on, but in point of fact, I think it’s harder because your network doesn’t see your performance day-in and day-out. They tend to see you as a project person rather than an employee. That said, I don’t think it’s impossible. But I’d wager most of your contacts probably don’t know exactly what you’re looking for (I can’t articulate it myself). That may be because you are still conflicted yourself. I know it took me a whole year of introspection and a lot of dead end ideas before I pulled this off.
Please let me know how I can help, whether it’s helping you better define what sort of job(s) you’re looking for or putting you in contact with people in my own network.
Good for you! I always had to be flexible because my job was secondary, but looking back I realize how much better off I am because of that flexibility! I believe when you do what you love, (and that could be more than one thing) you are more productive and a gazillion times happier!
Great post! Thanks!
Thanks, Barbara! I think the difficulty for me in making this transition was that I wasn’t unhappy in my previous job, I just had that nagging feeling. As I ended up putting in my About page, I felt restless all the time, but didn’t really know why. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, “What more do you want? You have a great boss, rewarding job, good friends and family life…” But…indeed, there was something better. I just had to figure out what that something was, and then be brave enough to reach for it. It sounds so easy in retrospect, but it was a hard year getting here.
Thanks so much for your support!
What a great story, Jen! Very inspiring. And yes, it’s true what they say: when you love what you’re doing, it doesn’t feel like work.
I love that you figured out what works for YOU!
Melissa,
Absolutely, it’s so individual. I think what bothers me is that much of the career advice we get is so cookie-cutter. It assumes that we’re all shooting to be VP of something (in the Air Force, we joke that we’re all being trained to be Chief of Staff–sadly, only one of us will succeed). I’m hoping this series of posts will open up people’s ideas of what a rewarding, successful career looks like.
Good to see you here!
I am stoked about this Jennifer, you said a mothfull, “Cookie- Cutter” lol 😀
Elvis,
I’m so glad you’re ready to embark on this journey. It’s scary and a lot of hard work, but so rewarding in the end. I plan to talk about this in an upcoming post, but THE most important factor in successfully navigating this process is simply committing to change. That’s it.
Look forward to talking with you more–thanks for the phone message! 🙂
Jennifer, you are so welcome! I am a multi-tasker, I can do a Power Point and talk to friends on FaCE Book and still sing along to the cool groups like Led Zeppelin! (Let us not forget Cake! LOL ) 😀 I am as you put it “flexible” I am a cork on an ocean, no matter how high the wave, the cork never sinks, I am always ready to accept change! I am eager to learn from you, Later! 😀
Oh, can you tell me how to put my Pic up here? I right clicked on this green face lol and nothing geared me in the right direction…….
I love it and based on what I’ve read – your ‘true passion’, writing, will ultimately win out for you. Although I don’t have as many years in as you did (8 yrs in corp. america), 8 years of working 80 – 90 hour weeks had turned me into a moody young lady. If people were not working as much or at least contributing as much as I did, I deemed them not worthy of working for me and I definitely lost that work / life balance. So, similar to you – I decided to ‘take time off’. For me, that means 40 hour weeks as opposed to 90. It’s been 8 months and while I miss / long for the ‘social’ aspect of work, my 3 PT jobs are: 1) My consulting company. I love this as I’m a ‘start up junkie’ and am constantly being given new projects to ‘figure out’ (it never gets boring). 2) Brokerage business; I broker deals – simple based on my ‘black book’, but brings in steady money 3) Learner / Student; I realized what I miss most about working for my old CEO / COO is that they were so knowledgeable and always wanted to learn more. Without having people like them around to intellectually stimulate, I ended up enrolling and getting certified in six sigma and I spend far too much time learning about new types of media / social media as I’m a “marketer” by trade. I’ve also finally had time to be a good wife.
I think what you did is phenomenal and I would bet if more people your age (or any age) did this, they would be a lot happier.
Jamie,
I tend to agree. I see writing winning in the battle of the jobs, though that’s not to say it was stay as my primary focus forever. As for being moody–I do wonder if the problem is number of hours spent working versus working on the right things. I got pretty moody working 50+ hours a week, which has now largely been resolved by working more, not less (just on things I enjoy more)! That said, you’re right, those kinds of hours can’t be maintained forever without burning out, so there does have to be a balance. I already have a timeline for trimming down the number of activities I currently have on my plate. I think your multiple jobs sound great–just make sure you don’t let the finances solely dictate where you spend your time. I was doing that without realizing it (in fact, I would have denied it up until the point I simply couldn’t anymore–lol).
Inspirational post. Thanks for sharing all you’ve learned. I look forward to the next installment.
Jen,
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the concept of “career design” and what my thoughts are about it. So, it’s going to be great to read about your perspective and experience in these series of posts!
I really did love this line: “I have the ability to define what success looks like in each one–not focusing on what’s necessary for promotion, but what I find essential for my personal growth.” For me, expanding our focus from narrow ideas about “climbing the ladder” to include what we discover is essential for both our personal [and professional] growth is key.
It’s so awesome that you had or found the courage to live your dreams in this way!
Fabulous! What a terrific role model you are and a kindred spirit!
While I worked full time as a corporate senior manager at a Fortune 500 energy company, I too had other jobs: practice management consultant for veterinarians, commercial race and show horse breeder, and equine art dealer. I ran my own farm and cared for a growing number of horses. These activities helped me figure out which ones really made me happy.
Little by little, I pared them down, realizing that the chokehold of corporate management was sapping my energy. I had a fabulous job, like yours, with wonderful people and important work, but, after a time, the work lost it’s luster.
So I too moved on. I kept the consulting because I love helping people sort things out and achieve success. I, of course, kept farm and the horses but stopped breeding, so I could relax and enjoy them. I closed the art dealership and got my aesthetic highs from blogging.
Knowing who we are takes time. Facing what truly fulfill us takes courage. Finding our settled place makes us feel whole. Thanks, Jen, for another post that stirs the heart and the mind! ~Dawn
Dawn,
Indeed we are kindred spirits! I love your varied interests–another thing I think leads to a more interesting life. But I also appreciate how you kept the horses but stopped breeding them. Sometimes it’s so hard to narrow down what it is that gives us pleasure–horses yes, but not everything to do with horses! Or at least not when there are still only 24 hours in a day. These are the hard choices that bring real satisfaction. I’m helping my husband go through this process now. He claims he’s going to write a guest blog post when he’s found his career passion too. It’s likely to be just a surprising as my own if our early discussions are any indication!
Wow, great article. I’m actually in a similar boat, I have a comfortable government job but have really been thinking about leaving to pursue my own business. Problem is, I don’t think I have the same opportunity as you, I’ve started doing some web development on the site and I have had some steady projects but I’m not sure if it is enough to sustain a complete jump… Thanks for the inspiration.
Peter,
This is an excellent point, and I’m going to cover this in detail next week. I certainly benefitted from a terrific personal network and other financial perks, but growing your side business is well within your reach (with work). Thanks for bringing this up–and if the next post doesn’t totally answer your question, keep asking until I do! 🙂
Excellent point, as always, Sadya. I think I’m going to highlight your comment on my FB page. You’re right–that’s probably the biggest insight of the post. In fact, maybe I should dedicate one of the posts in the series to exploring that in more detail? What do you think?
My questions are probably bit private – so feel free to ignore, but here goes:
1. How hard was it to give away that cushy job b/c of having a child? I would think on one hand, you would want something more secure when having a child to take care of; but on the other hand, you’re a constant role model for your child, and it’s important to show her that you should do what makes you happy vs. the status quo??? Reason I ask is b/c I’m working like you NOW, but my ‘assumption’ was I would go back to my corporate job when I had kids for the benefits, security, 401K, etc….even for the scheduling and discipline it provides.
2. Would you have done this if you did not have the ‘connections’ you do for consulting purposes that enable you to have ‘job’s.
3. Did you write when you have your cushy gov. job?
4. Why do you only consult in 1-2 areas? You can write, you’re a Dr. w/ a fantastic background; have you thought about writing for other industries? May be interesting for you to learn something new.
These are awesome questions, Jamie. Thanks for your insight. I will definitely address these in the next posts.
Very inspirational! I keep hearing about designing your own career, but it hasn’t made sense until now.
My questions is, though, how do you keep from feeling guilty about giving something up that you put a lot of effort into? In my case, I’ve got a computer science degree and I’ve been doing software and database support for almost 4 years (not that long, but I’m young!). However, I love the side work I just started doing, which is social media and marketing consulting for an assisted living facility. I also want to teach dance and I’m working on my real estate license, and I’m getting interested in residential care facilities for the elderly. I know I have to narrow my focus but I still feel guilty about it, especially since I think it’s the IT stuff that’s going to go.
Looking forward to the next in the series!
Erica,
Awesome question! I struggled with that a lot, but ironically have caught myself putting pressure on my husband as I assist him in his journey to continue to use the skills he’s honed. The short answer is: it’s hard! I liken it to minimalism and the struggle to throw something away you’ve paid money for (sometimes a lot of money). Leo Babauta wrote a good post on that here.
But to follow up on Sadya’s point in this comment section, you have to think about whether you want your skill set to be narrow or broad. The classic scientist gets more and more narrow as they advance in their career. For me, that’s exactly the opposite of how I like to do things. So I tell myself it’s okay to leave what I’m good at in order to broaden my skills. And you never know how your skill sets will intersect later either. When I was tapped to be the Chief of Corporate Communications for the research lab, I got to use all my interest in writing and speaking while still heavily drawing on my science background. Many people have suggested I go into communication consulting for scientists and engineers. Maybe I will!
So don’t let guilt over the time you’ve spent learning computer science hold you back from your blossoming new interests. It wasn’t wasted time, and you might find new and innovative ways to bring those two skills together at a later date. I see this as the future, for what it’s worth.
Jennifer, what an inspirational article for those of us who cling on to jobs beyond their sell by date for the comfort of a security blanket and also for not wanting to rock the boat.
I have been following your life and your progress over the last few months via your blog, and it’s been wonderful to watch you blossom in your writing and your outlook to life.
I await the next chapter in anticipation – wishing you all the best. And I hope others are inspired to also follow their heart’s calling.
Thanks, Arvind! I hope so too. It’s almost like I stepped into Steve Jobs shoes–just without the salary, fame, or other nasty pressures. It’s wonderful! Thanks for your efforts in helping to make this dream a reality!
Sadya
Will definitely be answering these questions in the upcoming posts. They are the most common hurdles people have to clear in order to do career design.
Jen,
Thanks for putting this on my radar. As a person who is almost the definition of what you are talking about, I happen to completely agree. For me part of the challenge in dealing with ADHD is that I need to do work that is not only creative, but not repetitive.
One of the things that having these three jobs that you talk about allows is really to build your career around your lifestyle and not the other way around. It seems that anybody who has really “made it” in this online game has done exactly that. The idea of going back to one job seems kind of crazy to me.
Also, I have mad respect to you for your job as a mother and a wife. I spent time with two of my oldest friends from college and they have a 4 month old, and while he was the “perfect wingman” for about 10 mins, when he started crying I realized how tough of a job being a parent really is. I know what a pain in the AS#$# I can be to my parents and I’m 32 LOL. Anyways, love all the ideas in this post, stumbled, tweeted, and shared on facebook.
Thanks, Sri. So true about craving work that is not only creative, but not repetitive. That’s a good insight. I’m like that with my dinner choices too. Always making a new recipe.
Yes, I am very much trying to build a career around the kind of life I want to live. It’s all about getting your priorities straight, which is far easier said than done. And yes, being a mother is both the hardest and most rewarding job I’ll ever have.
Thanks so much for sharing–it means a lot to me.
Fabulous story Jen, gutsy and inspiring. So glad you’re able to manage your three passions and keep them all alive plus fit in the hubby, cat and kiddie too:) Keep up the great work! I stumbled this so hopefully more people can be inspired.
Coming from someone I consider the master of “gutsy and inspiring,” that’s high praise, Annabel. Thanks!
I’d also like to consult but I’m not sure how turn my network of co-workers / friends into potential clients. Any tips on how to get started? Thanks for sharing your story – so inspiring!
To be honest, I didn’t have consulting to my former colleagues in mind when I decided to change careers. My initial plan had been to approach some boutique consutling firms I knew and see if they would hire me part time. I connected with someone from Robert Half at a career “fair” and he was giving me great advice and contacts. But…I had a great relationship with my bosses and they wanted me to finish some projects. My personal preference is to do awesome enough work that colleagues offer to hire me–as I said in my annual review post, I’m not good at asking for what I want. Assuming that’s not your problem, I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with mentioning you’re looking for consulting work and see what they say.
Jennifer, finding your web site is very timely for me. I am retiring from the Army in May, having made the decision more than a year ago that I wanted to do something else with my life. Trouble is, I haven’t figured out what I want to do. My rather simple plan was to transition into a similar line of work, either working for the government as a civil servant or get hired on as a military analyst in any of a number of defense contractors. That is still my “plan A” but time and again I find myself yearning to find and follow my passions (if I can just “find” them). I have several books like What Color is Your Parachute, 48 Hours to the Work You Love, and The Power of Who…they all have bits and pieces that are helpful, yet I still have an inner struggle with safety & security (gov’t job) vs. what will make me happy and fulfilled. I think my major obstacle right now comes down to money. I have 5 kids (4 of whom still live at home), currently have too much debt, and I’m the sole provider (my wife is a stay-at-home mom). Jen – I really don’t know where to start, and the clock is ticking for me…any words of wisdom?
I’ll send you a longer reply via email, but let me leave a note here for others who may be struggling with something similar. If I read between the lines a bit, I get two messages: 1) You actually do know what you love/are passionate about, but you don’t know how to make money from it, and 2) Financial fears are sapping your courage.
In your situation, you’re probably going to want to do with a more gradual approach. If you have an opportunity to get a job in a similar line of work, take it. A contractor job will probably be better since it’s easier to leave when the time comes. But commit to yourself right now, I mean it, that the job is temporary and you’ll work your butt off to get to the point where you can devote yourself to your passion. If you don’t make that commitment right now, you’ll never get there.
I’ll put the rest in an email.
Hey, I was really interested in what you said about “doing exactly what I want to do, when I want to do it” And that exactly what I want to achieve. Im 19 years old currently living in florida, I have a passion for cooking, sales, and fashion plus Im pretty computer savoy ! I’m currently working a strictly commison sales job for a shoe cleaner company. The money is alright but the experience I learned from working for almost three years for this company is priceless..but time is money and I definitly wanna pursue my dream of owning my own restaurant. With all my monthly expense’s its hard to cover them with just one source of income especially one thats sometimes inconsistent. That’s why I’ve been looking into another source of income like another job..or two haha. Thats where you come in..I just need adivce from someone who’s been there and done that. I currently am waiting on a call from Michael Kors for a sales position that I cannot wait to take up, but I’m also looking to work in the resturant industry to get my foot in the door to owning my own seafood restaurant. If I could I’d build iPhone applications at home or at school. My question is what I’m doing even right? do I continue to go about things the way I’ve been or do I just go to school and work at a restaurant? I love how your the scientist, the consultant and the writer ! I just wanna be the best I can be and I just need advice on how to get there. thank you
Learning about sales is always time well spent, but make sure you also spend time figuring out what you want to do with your life. You can start here.