This post is part of the Executive Image series started by Daria (aka @MominManagement). I am honored to participate with her and five other amazing women on this topic. For more about the series, visit Daria’s website, MominManagement.
In graduate school, if your jeans weren’t frayed at the bottom, people thought you were dressing up. All I ever needed were my military uniforms and weekend clothes. I never bothered to invest in a business suit.
Then I found myself invited to a strategy meeting at the National Academy of Science. I couldn’t bear to put myself (and my wallet) at the mercy of Ann Taylor. So I wore the only skirt I owned (even though it was winter) and hoped for the best.
Unfortunately, I looked like I was going to church and everyone else looked … sophisticated.
It didn’t help that I was the youngest person in the room. My mind kept trying to devise ways to hide my outfit. Maybe I could just keep my coat on? Except, my coat was designed for snow sports, not business meetings. It wasn’t the right image either.
Finally, I took a deep breath. I couldn’t change my outfit now. Eventually, I found myself so engrossed in the topic at hand, I forgot about my insecurities. I told the group, “You know, these strategy sessions are great, but the real problem is that we don’t talk to each other regularly enough to make them work. What we really need is a communication plan.”
All eyes were on me. They weren’t judging my fashion sense. They were looking for me to lead.
You can’t find confidence in your closet
When you think about creating an “executive image,” naturally the first thing that comes to mind is what you’re wearing.
Last week, Margie Clayman kicked off this series with this observation: women who want to project an executive image often end up looking a lot like … men. A collection of Google images shows women in the same dark suits and arrogant cross-armed pose.
This is odd, because as Margie says, “women, even powerful women, are not men.” What’s even stranger is executive image seems to be largely created by women. Most of the executive men I know hate shopping, hate fashion, and thus rely on their wives to assemble matching outfits.
I’ll argue what’s far more important than the brand of your pant suit is what’s inside it. Take this story from Lisa Petrilli
I had a business lunch last week with an older gentleman from the “old school” and I wore a skirt, bright red top with a scoop neck, dangly earrings, my hair down long, and brought poise and confidence with me. You know what? He said at one point, “You’re so poised and powerful and you’re not afraid to be a woman. I applaud you for that.”
My experience has been the same. When I took stock of the women I respected, I discovered they didn’t look anything like the angry (but well dressed) business women in my Victoria Secret catalogue.
In fact, some of them were downright frumpy.
What they brought to the table, however, was much more powerful: a head full of good ideas and the confidence to share them. They had opinions and weren’t afraid to use them. It turns out ideas are much more memorable than outfits anyway.
Confidence is cheaper than Jimmy Choos
If I could end my National Academy meeting with a stack of business cards, chances are you don’t need to spend a dime on clothes to improve your executive image. The bad news? You can’t order “confidence” on Amazon with express, two-day shipping. It only comes with practice.
If you aren’t as confident as you’d like to be, here are six effective strategies to help your confidence, and image, soar:
- Find your opinions–and share them. If my daughter is any indication, we’re all born with plenty of opinions. But in our quest to be more polite or political, those opinions grow quiet, sometimes even in our own heads. Start with something easy. Next time you go out to eat with friends, be the one to pick the restaurant. Then try engaging a small group of co-workers, starting with the line, “What do you think of this idea?” Before you know it, you’ll be making appointments with the boss and speaking up at weekly staff meetings.
- Argue without getting emotional. Women in particular tend to see disagreement as a personal attack (even when it isn’t). To learn how to handle conflict with grace, have a trusted friend take an opposing view on a subject you’re passionate about. Time how long you can argue your point without raising your voice or questioning whether your friend is an idiot. Most meetings won’t go longer than an hour, so if you can last that long, you’re in good shape.
- Practice being wrong. Fake confidence is almost always revealed by arrogance. One of the most powerful ways to demonstrate confidence is to allow others to publicly change your mind. Don’t just do it for effect either. It takes strong conviction to see the wisdom in another viewpoint.
- Take an acting class. A sure way to impress the pants off your co-workers and boss is to give a memorable, entertaining presentation. Many recommend Toastmasters as a way to overcome a fear of speaking. In my experience, the group can be a tad stuffy. Adopting a persona is a strategy I use to calm nerves and project an aura of confidence. If this doesn’t come naturally, try taking an acting class to learn the art of being someone else.
- Ask (even if you think the answer is no). How often have you sabotaged your success simply by not asking for what you want? You won’t always get a yes, and you certainly don’t want to get carried away, but most of us are far too cautious. Asking for small things, like taking a day off or making a presentation, will give you the confidence to ask for bigger things, like leading a project.
- Value yourself. Rock bands need adoring fans, but they don’t hang out with them. Likewise, executives won’t invite you to join their ranks if you can’t act like you belong there. This means avoiding submissive behavior, like apologizing for taking their time or complimenting their ideas to the point of denigrating your own. Keeping your own value at the front of your mind will help you see “muckity mucks” as people just like you.
First impressions are important. But who remembers what you wore to your last business meeting? Executive image isn’t what people see on you, but what they see in you.
Wonderful tips Jennifer! I love tangible tips to improve yourself like these. One of the things my executive coach tells me often is “Fake it till you make it.”
When I’ve felt intimidated or uncertain how to proceed, I often get an image in my head of the “persona” I want to portray and then act like how that person would behave. It’s amazing how well that works! I have taken an acting class and you’re right – it is helpful in business. Strange to think of that, but true.
Great post, Jennifer!
At some point I realized telling people to be confident was like encouraging them to “make money.” Not very helpful without concrete actions included.
The persona technique in public speaking is underused in my experience. It’s how I kept my cool as a teacher when my students occasionally got unruly. Losing your cool in front of the class is like abdicating your authority and only invites further trouble. But that’s not to say I didn’t sometimes feel very insecure inside! Same with speaking. I get quite nervous before big presenations, but then I just channel my entertainer and they take over.
Maybe this is a benefit of essentially being an only child? LOL
Oh, gosh, I just love this line: “Executive image isn’t what people see on you, but what they see in you.”
Your fashion quandary made me laugh out loud and your confidence-building “to do” like made me clap my hands. You are so right. Hardly anyone remembers what we have on when we have turned their eyes inward on an idea, opportunity, issue, or challenge that draws them into a compelling conversation. What they remember is: a worthwhile meeting , the solution to a long festering problem, a glimmer of optimism in bad times, and engagement of the team.
The only time what we wear is remembered is when what we say matches its inappropriateness: insipid remarks emerging from too much cleavage or rudeness covered in Gothic makeup.
You have done this topic a great service here. Unless we work for a company where there is a corporate uniform (I believe that has long fallen beyond the wayside), we have great latitude in the way we dress. The issue today is about adding value. When we bring something to the workplace that fixes things, generates more revenue, and builds the customer based, that’s what’s remembered.
Each time we try out a new idea, just like you suggest, and find support for it, we’re ready to try another. That’s the way we build self-confidence and the coworker following that goes with it. There’s no better executive image than that! Thanks, Jen. This was fabulous! ~Dawn
Good point, Dawn! Drastically inappropriate attire is often remembered…vividly. I think there’s a minimum standard somewhere and I’d like to believe it lies within common sense, but clearly not for everyone. It also varies considerably by vocation and company culture.
I’ve followed many of these confidence building tips myself, and find them invaluable. There’s always room for improvement and we need frequent “yes you can” reminders to keep our confidence from sagging.
Looking forward to your post, Dawn!
Wow, I knew I had good reason to look forward to your continuation of the conversation, and you certainly have validated that sentiment!
I think your point is extremely well-taken and interesting. Confidence is the greatest accessory, more than a purse or a bracelet or a hair doodad. Confidence makes our eyes shine. It makes us tilt our shoulders up and back ever so slightly. It allows us to march into a room and take it over while still being comfortable in our skin.
Here’s what I would toss out though. Do some women (and men perhaps as well) depend on fashion for that confidence crutch? I’ve known women in my life who aren’t even comfortable going to the grocery store unless they’re dressed to the hilt. Looking good is the stream from where they draw their confidence. If you take away their power suit, you take away their power, like shaving Samson’s head took away his strength.
What can we do for those people who are looking without for strength that must come from within?
Hi Margie,
I definitely know those people too and although I am assertive and convey competence and confidence, I too find myself more ready to brave the proverbial lion’s den when I have makeup on and am dressed professionally.
I am not a girly-girl and certainly don’t wear pearls to the gym (I seriously know people that do), but there is definitely an emotional impact on my self image depending on how I am dressed.
I agree whole heartedly with Jen and Dawn that if you present great ideas and add value to the conversation that you will be remembered (at least by the men) for your contribution rather than your outfit.
I would throw out the question – Do you think that if you aren’t dressed the part then you have to overcome your dress by impressing with conversation and “presence”? Whereas, if dressed in the executive stereotype, you may have a leg up and be heard sooner or more clearly without having to “prove” yourself to the same degree?
Great post and definitely a wonderful addition to the Series!!
Thank you again, Jen! I can’t wait to see what Maria has to say next week!
It’s an interesting question, Daria. I think we may approach the issue differently. You say “prove yourself” as if it’s a bad thing. I absolutely want the chance to prove myself! If someone adopts my idea simply because I look like I know what I’m doing, that’s not really buy-in. I want to argue, to explore different angles and possibilities, and ultimately come to a solution we’ll all pour our hearts into. If I can’t impress someone with my conversation and presence, what lasting good does it do to impress them with my pantsuit?
This is why confidence is so important, and why (I believe) it is the foundation of executive image. Everything else is the house above the surface. And there’s nothing wrong with having a pretty house! But if the foundation is cracked or lop-sided, it’s just not a house you, or anyone else, should purchase.
Margie,
I’m sure there are people who derive part of their confidence from what they’re wearing. One of my best kept secrets is that I have a favorite pair of undies I wear on particularly stressful days. I happen to like the fact that no one knows about them but me (or should I say no one knew about them? lol)
So I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking comfort in what one’s wearing. A snappy outfit is the polish on a fine gem. But if it’s the primary source of confidence, I think there’s a problem. In fact, I think it would be an interesting challenge for someone like that to wear something less than stellar (though still appropriate for the situation) and still try to mesmerize the room. In my opinion, true confidence has to begin on the inside before the outside really makes much difference.
For those who think of a great outfit as a “power suit” (awesome analogy), I’m likely no help in perfecting it. My knowledge of fashion is woefully small. That’s why this is a series, right? LOL
Thanks, Margie, for your thoughtful response. I love conversations like this.
Creating / conveying an executive image is something I’ve recently had to come to grips with. While I value its place in the corporate world, the antagonist in me yearns for when my ideas are taken in higher regard than what I am / am not wearing. It won’t happen in my lifetime, but a boy can dream.
The six strategies are great. Your #2 is one I have to keep a close eye on, even and especially when I am restraining to get emotional but my debating counterpart is not. It becomes more and more difficult to not raise tones when their tone is raising, to not make more pointed remarks when more edgy comments are coming your way. I’ve also found that acknowledging the raised mood within a debate-turned-into-an-argument only elevates the level of now-argument. It’s another balancing act, I’ve found.
Thank you for sharing.
Hi Sumner,
I loved Jen’s tips too. Tangible tips and things I can sink my teeth into like that always make the Analytic in me happy!
I have struggled with the raised tone too. My coach suggested having something in my pocket that I can rub or some other distraction tactic to remind me to breathe before responding. When I take that second to pause, then I intentionally lower my voice lower than even regular talking voice and am trying a variety of phrases to reduce the tension. I haven’t settled on the right one for every situation yet, but here are a few I’ve tried:
1. Hmm, interesting point. Have you considered ….?
2. I feel like there’s some tension. I apologize for not expressing myself well. Please forgive my poor word choice. What I was trying to say was….
3. Huh, you know I’ll have to think about this some more, you raised some good points. Would you be up for discussing this some more this afternoon?
For me the hardest part is that initial pause to step back and redirect the conversation without jumping in right away and responding with my first thoughts.
Sumner,
Yes, it is so hard to keep your cool when your counterpart is not. I still struggle with that one myself, as I get very passionate about ideas. I love Daria’s suggestions for diffusing or delaying the conversation. I’ve also found that there are trolls in real life, just as there are online, and it’s best to avoid them.
Interesting that you think people won’t start valuing your ideas over your outfits in your lifetime. What kind of work do you do?
What a great article presenting the importance of CONFIDENCE. I am also pleased that someone else mentioned the example of a favorite underwear! I always do the same thing and now I realize thatin an unorthodox way or sub consciously, every time I dress especially if I need a bit more dose of confidence, I am building and refurbishing my sense of confidence from inside out even though nobody else knows, sees or cares about my under garment. And then there is a much deeper inner layers of substance that we must have and we should be able to discover from within.
Glad you enjoyed this and that I’m not the only one who builds confidence from the “inside out”. 😉
Jennifer,
Thanks so much for including my story and for reinforcing the importance of bringing confidence to any business situation, regardless of your dress.
And I wholeheartedly agree with your points about asking – it’s always worth the risk – and valuing ourselves in every way.
Beautiful post – thank you for sharing your insights with us!
@LisaPetrilli
Thanks for sharing your story, Lisa. It’s always good to have proof there are people out there who can see beyond fashion trends and dangly earrings. 🙂
May we all have many more experiences such as yours!
Jen,
You mention acting class. This is a great idea, but one can also read plays. I particularly recommend works by Tennessee Williams, Oscar Wilde and George Bernard Shaw where the characters always have the perfect thing to say.
Amy
@cleverclue
Absolutely. You can even try role playing with your kids, which has parenting benefits as well. Ingrid loves playing Mommy with me, and I appreciate (even if I don’t always enjoy) getting to see myself through her eyes. Apparently I sigh a lot. 🙂
Great job Jennifer!
I really appreciated the emphasis on reigning in the emotions–nothing says ‘hothead’ quicker than a person ranting and raving. Although we get the short end of the emotional stick when it comes to business, this is one of the most important characteristics in creating a respectable one.
And when you’re calm under stress, people have that much more confidence in your leadership abilities.
Thanks,
~Linda
Totally agree. It’s not easy, well worth the practice. Leading people is often about inspiring them through the tough times, giving them courage when things don’t go as planned. Demonstrating you can be cool under stress is invaluable when urging others to do the same.
I love the tip about asking for what you want. Nothing could be simpler or harder. Have you watched Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook COO)’s TED talk on women in leadership? She does a great job, IMO, of getting this message across with some key anecdotes.
As for clothing, I laughed, as did many others, when I read your comments. As someone happiest in jeans and boots, the one or two times I had to don suit-like attire made me realize that my “uniform” is part of my confidence. I think as women we’re just extra-conscious of what we wear, and it’s less about fashion (except in some cases!) and more about projecting an image we’re in control of. I’m personally glad there are fewer rules, particularly for women, although I find it difficult to balance looking “too attractive” (translation, like I’m trying to attract others, not necessarily succeeding) and too “manly.”
And frankly, I find that people’s perceptions of me change DRASTICALLY depending on my clothing. I take it for granted that this is part of being a woman. Not having a budget for making any big wardrobe changes, I tackle this by observing women I admire and taking notes on why their clothing, hair, and composure send me a mix that I think is right.
This was a long way of saying I need a style consultant who can deal with my once-a-year-maybe discount-rack shopping approach. Hit a nerve I guess!
Barbara beat me to the punch, but I will echo her here. It’s all about being comfortable. You have to meet the minimum standard–as she points out, you can’t wear jeans to a business meeting just because you’re most comfortable in them. But meeting the standard while being comfortable is key. You may find that the dramatic changes in other’s behavior is due to changes in your own behavior, driven by your perceptions of what’s called for. In my own example, as I fretted about my outfit, I was in no position to be taken seriously. My own confidence was on the floor. Although that’s all taking place in my head, it gets translated through body language, where others may not even be conscious of it but still react.
I think this also goes back to Margie’s point about the “power suit.” If clothes are partly a source of confidence for you, then a consultant who can help you navigate that comfortable fashion frontier is a great idea. Let me know if you do it. I’d love to hear someone’s direct experience with that.
And I’ll check out the TED talk. Thanks!
Certainly there are variations in how groups approach image by vocation and location. I’ve never lived in a rural area, but I guess I’m surprised to hear there’s a greater insistence on image over work ethic than in a place like, say, Washington DC. I go back to my comment to Dawn. I think there’s a minimum standard that you have to meet. You at least have to look like you’re trying to fit in.
In the situation you referenced, I think the person probably should dress up a bit more. Just because her normal work situation doesn’t call for it, a group meeting where everyone else is more formal would call for dressing up, imo. There’s another side to it too. I obviously don’t know the details of that situation, but it’s equally important to provide other evaluation measures beyond image. Does she speak up at the meetings? Does she lead projects outside of her normal working group? If the only interaction one has with you is from a distance, you can’t blame them for judging you based on appearance.
Really looking forward to the rest of the posts. This has been a fantastic series so far and I think this is one of the best conversations I’ve seen on the net. Thanks for raising such thought-provoking questions. I love it!
Wow, this brought me back to my corporate days. Days I do not miss. I just wanted to add to the discussion about appearance, if I might. I learned, fortunately fairly early on, that I wear make-up for me. It’s not for my husband or to impress anyone, it’s for my own sense of self. Some women need no make-up and rarely wear it, so when they do they’re uncomfortable. If you aren’t comfortable you aren’t confident.
This applies to wardrobe, too. I have a different take on your feeling that you can’t find confidence in your closet. It’s good to have enough variety in your closet to dress appropriately for the situation. Just never forget to be true to your style, which is dictated by your gut. If it feels stilted and awkward you will be at a disadvantage when you walk out the door. If you are most comfortable in jeans and a flannel shirt, you will feel totally out of place in a suit. That doesn’t mean wearing jeans and a flannel shirt would be appropriate for business attire, but nice pants and a comfortable sweater, maybe a corduroy jacket to top it off… that you can pull off. Sometimes women forget the advantage they have simply because of options men do not have.
It’s worth the time and investment to find a good stylist for some advice. Some better department stores have them on staff as personal shoppers, and it’s most often a free service. A good stylist/shopper can discover what you’re comfortable wearing and design a wardrobe that includes the components needed for any occasion.
In case you think only women worry about this, you’re mistaken. I worked with a guy once who told me he kept a file card in the inside pocket of each suit jacket so he could note the last date he wore it. He did this so he wouldn’t wear the same suit twice with a client. When I asked him if he would be able to remember what his client was wearing at their last meeting he said, “probably not.” Yet, he was concerned they’d remember his suit? I just laughed.
Good discussion you have going Jen!
You are so right that it’s what you
Ah, thanks, Barbara. You said that so well.
At one point, I had a line in the post “I can boil my fashion advice into two words: be comfortable.” But in one of my edits, it disappeared. So THANKS for bringing that up, because I couldn’t agree more. The idea of getting a personal shopper/fashion advisor is a great idea. And that story about noting when he wore his suit but never remembering a client’s is priceles.
Fabulous post and conversation. I like the perspective you took in your post Jen. I was afraid it was just going to be about dress and appreciated that it wasn’t.
I had a couple of points but see that they were well covered by other readers. Great points and additions everyone. Cherry
I agree, Cherry. The conversation is the best part. Thanks for joining us!
I briefly worked for a lady who asked me after a meeting “Can I Coach You” Of course you can I retorted wondering what in the world she was going to say “Don’t Dress so Sexy to Meetings” She said.. I was caught a little off guard “OK” I said as I looked down at my calf length pinstripe, tailored but not tight, buttoned all the way up, Calvin Klein suit jacket and black slacks with black leather Charles David’s….I gave my resignation shortly thereafter. Not because of the coaching session but because there are things that I own, and one of them is that fact that I could be wearing a paper bag and exude sexiness. There are some things that some woman just don’t understand. It’s not always the clothing that makes the woman it’s the woman that makes the clothes. I was not about to give up my star power my “IT” factor because she was intimidated. I started my own company two days after I left and never looked back — It’s been almost nine years so I guess her theory was a little off because I’ve never changed my style.
Interesting story. One the one hand, I commend her for sharing her opinion. I was once in the position of having to tell an intern essentially the same message (though very different circumstances–the intern occasionally wore outfits so short people could see her underwear!). Even though I had no doubt as to the validity of my message, I still struggled to tell her. She was a young black woman–exactly the kind of woman I wanted to support system and who otherwise had much to recommend her.
So I applaud anyone who can say something difficult to another woman, even if they are wrong. On the other hand, it’s sad when women begrudge or are intimadated by the looks of another. In the end, she lost a valuable employee over something petty.
I completely agree that our “inner tools” are much more important than those connected to our outward appearance. An outfit cannot convey poise or confidence but rather the person wearing the outfit has to convey these feelings. Unfortunately, due to gender inequalities within the workplace, women are often not valued for their expertise and inner talents. There is a lot of pressure to present a perfect or near perfect outer package. I love that you are sending the message that who we are and what we bring to the table supercede any notion of fashion or physical attributes.
Have you experienced a lot of gender inequality in the workplace? I must admit I have not. The military is actually quite progressive when it comes to integration of minorities, so I realize my experience would be different than much of the civilian world.
But as I tried to convey in this post, I also think women pressure on themselves to present a perfect package that doesn’t equate with real expectations. I truly think it’s well worth the exercise to present an appropriate but otherwise ordinary appearance, and see what happens, especially if you pair it with the confidence of great ideas. My guess is that the reaction is not nearly as poor as you might think.
Jen,
I loved the story of your first business mean without “executive” clothes, but ending in great success. The tips on creating confidence are terrific. It’s so important to know that it can be “created.” We are not doomed if we feel we are born without it. I’m not hanging out in the executive world, but I still like the way engaging with these tips can create a stronger sense of being grounded, centered, and on top of the world ~ whatever the situation or circumstances.
Absolutely, Sandra, that’s the message. Confidence CAN be created, no matter where you’re starting from on the confidence spectrum. Good point that you don’t have to hang with executives to make use of these ideas. Thanks for bringing that up!
What I wear: cashmere, knits, silk. Tights, never hose. Heels that give a nice curve to the calf but so well balanced I could jump up and down in them. One beautiful piece of jewelry. I do need a simpler coat. Vintage pieces give an air of grace.
What I carry: on the left shoulder a purse with just the basics: wallet, keys, pen, comb, nail clip, fan, smartphone. In left hand, a iPad. Anything more and I feel like a bag lady.
The quest for authority can be illusive. Authority requires skill and influence. You can’t focus on image; people are too opinionated about women’s appearances to guaranteed anything more than mixed success. Listening and asking a couple well timed analytical questions establishs expertise. That and good introductions. Then, being the one to pinpoint the actionable information at the meeting is essential to lead.
Terrific distinction between authority and confidence. I think you are saying it’s possible to have confidence without authority? I certainly know a number of people who fall into this category, though sadly they don’t know it themselves. I see another post in the works…
Thanks too for sharing your self description. It’s perhaps good to share the details and see how differently we approach image. As you know, I never wear tights and hardly any jewelry. And heels? A recipe for disaster. LOL. Thanks, Amy. These are really good points.
Great post Jen!
Jennifer,
This is a great post! I have been struggling with the notion that I won’t be taken seriously unless I wear the power suit. So I’ve been doing that for the last 30 years! When I started my own business I couldn’t shake the need to continue the same habit. Now I understand a little better what is and isn’t going on in everyone’s head.
Thanks!
Of course, as Margie and others have said, if the power suit gives you power, go ahead and wear it. But it’s definitely not as mandatory as some make out. Glad this was helpful. Shine on!
I am so fortunate to have found my way to this website! It seems like the community of like-minded individuals I’ve been seeking for a fresh take on positivity and taking action.
This post about corporate clothing has given me an improved way of looking at what I would have once considered a very stifling area. Though there may be a time a place for it, just seeing pictures of women dressed up in corporate wear has me feeling itchy and overwhelmed at the idea that to be “successful” a woman must dress like a corporate drone. Not so. Confidence, as they say, is key, and I have long been a fan of the motto “fake it ’til you make it.”
The item that really stuck out to me personally was the one about valuing myself. Lately I have noticed that, as the new person in my workplace, I tend to apologize and excuse my every breath and recite my thank you’s like a parrot training record stuck on repeat. Luckily, I am aware of this behavior and have begun to change it, but this post clarified for me a greater reason WHY I should do so ASAP.
I am learning that by adopting a mental persona of the confident woman I was in my previous career path, I am slowly recognizing more respect and consideration being reflected my way now.
So many great ideas to be taken from this insightful piece!
I feel fortunate to have you here as well! Creating a place where people feel comfortable enough to have honest discussions, and get intelligent responses and questions in return, is by far the best byproduct of blogging. I love writing, but I equally appreciate what I learn from my readers.
Not sure if you signed up for the newsletter (up right hand corner), but you might find the video + email challenge series helpful for building confidence. The challenges are ones I’ve done myself and continue to use and they’ve done wonders (even for someone who was pretty confident to start with). Let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help, or questions you’d like me to answer.
Nice to “meet” you!
Thanks so much for this post, the conversation, and this list! I have a dear dear colleague who has an over-the-top personality and is not afraid to “speak her mind and share her opinions.”
Unfortunately, she hasn’t learned yet to handle conflict with grace or admit when she is wrong yet and it is negatively impacting her professional relationships (unbeknownst to her).
We all have our challenges to face and our lessons to learn. I appreciate you detailing what some of those challenges might be and our opportunities for learning by facing them.
So very happy to have found your blog today! I’ll be back to join the conversation again!
Tamara,
So sorry to hear of your colleague’s struggles. We’re all blind to our follies to some extent. I hope she finds a way to see the damage she’s doing before it’s too late, but in a way that’s gentle enough she can extract her confidence. Those are hard lessons, and anything I can do to help people learn them without fully experiencing them is well worth the effort.
Happy to have you as one of the Luminaries here at Everyday Bright. Look foward to sharing more!